Dax - Depression

i can't find myself
i get lost inside my brain
i think i might need help, mm
but i pushed all of 'em away
i took the cards they dealt
and there's nothin' i can change
so, when i'm by myself
i just pray for brighter days
sometimes i sit, and i reminisce 'bout the good times
wish i could get those back
i keep on runnin' these races that go in my mind
and they go on these tracks
i'm not ready to erase all my memories
hmm, i fight depression and i let it get the best of me
now there's nowhere to run, nowhere to go
look around, there's liquor bottles all on the floor
fillin' up the space inside my heart and my home
drownin' out these thoughts until they leave me alone
i can't find myself
i get lost inside my brain
think i might need help
but i pushed all of 'em away
i took the cards they dealt
and there's nothin' i can change
so, when i'm by myself
i just pray for brighter days
these thoughts are drainin' all my energy
i try to tell 'em to god, they said, "i'm goin' insane"
and then they recommended therapy
and i go and talk to a man who's gettin' paid to explain
he started sayin' that the chemical imbalance is the reason that my brain
ain't connectin' to accomplishments associated with movin' on
all in life and passive things in life, my heart cannot contain
so that happiness won't sustain
and he read me my options
he said, "here goes a pill, only take two, eat a meal"
and they don't know how i feel
i can't find myself (i can't find myself)
i get lost inside my brain
think i might need help (think i might need help)
but i pushed all of 'em away
i took the cards they dealt (took the cards they dealt)
and there's nothin' i can change
so, when i'm by myself (when i'm by myself)
i just pray for brighter days
should i drown all these thoughts, or should i leave 'em to float?
i've got all of my flaws livin' inside of this boat
i've been anchored in pain, the weight is makin' me choke
it's gettin' harder to breathe, it's pullin' right at my throat
i've been hopin' for change, but don't know how to restart
they say you ain't a man when you're exposin' your heart
then they say you insane until it tears you apart
and then it cuts you so deep, and they can tell by the scars
we can only see change when we accept who we are
try to run from the shame, and you will never get far
don't you bottle the pain and live your life in the dark
you're meant to break from those chains and shine as bright as a star
don't you ever tell yourself that your depression
is the reason you won't make it or that happiness is not in your cards
with our god, you can beat all the odds
keep your faith, and you'll never be lost and say
i can't find myself
i get lost inside my brain
think i might need help (i think i might need help)
but i pushed all of 'em away (i pushed all of them away)
i took the cards they dealt
and there's nothin' i can change
so, when i'm by myself
i just pray for brighter days